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i have this thing that i cannot step forward or speak out when i should have.
a piece of me always holds me back and down. a piece of me that i want to become.
a piece of me that's very different from real me.

as if thats the only me

and it is the only me people see
i just can't reveal myself insecured and weak. i mostly can't admit it to myself either.

at least i regret it these days. i am getting older and.. at least trying to relax.. and dig myself out in this mess.


i believe in destiny which incorporates my regret, pain, and effort.

if it doesn't work this time, it was meant to be that way from the beginning.


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i am going to go see this guy's concert in august.
excited :)